Testimonials
Man is terrified of failing and avoid
intimacy!
"How do you tell someone that you can't get close to your wife physically?
I have more than erection problems! I'm terrified of failing and avoid intimacy whenever I can.
I have seen sex manuals and they never deal with the fear of failure. So I said to myself, "Let me try one
of these psychology books." I was thinking maybe I have a confidence problem. What I learned
from reading "Secrets from the Sofa" is that there is help for all kinds of problems. I haven't told
my wife yet but I'm going to a shrink who has me talking about myself. He even said my problem
is common! And here I was thinking I was queer in some way. The book has a lot of good
information and now that I am getting help I feel optimistic about the future. I'll tell my
wife, but I want to make more progress first." Name withheld
Man throws the book at his wife!
"When my wife gave me this book, I threw it at her! That is typical behavior for me
because I have a low fuse. To make this story short, I read the book and felt like Dr. Herman
was writing about me. I have a problem with anger. Of course, I'm not stupid. I have been
to college and have an idea where all my anger comes from. I'm going to get help. I'm not at the
point where I can divulge this to my wife, but this book has started a fire in me. People have been
telling me get help for years and I ignored them. Secrets from the Sofa sparked my
interest. My brain now tells me that resolving my emotional issues is the healthy thing to
do. Keep helping people, Dr. Herman. You're good at it!" Name withheld
My boss said I was too nervous!
"I was having my performance evaluation, and my manager told me I was a good worker...
but too nervous. He said I didn't know how to relax and suggested I read this "Secrets from the
Sofa" book. At first I was annoyed and defensive. After all, I was doing my job.
But, he asked me to ome back later, and tell him what I thought of the
book. Actiually, the book made me think about myself. I have some things to work
on, that I've never thought about. I told my manager it was a good book because it makes a
person think. I thanked him for giving me the book." Name withheld
Lost track of time while reading Secrets I got "Secrets from the Sofa" in the library's psychology section. I've been feeling down and wanted a book to help me overcome depression. I started reading in the library and before I knew it I'd been reading for two hours! I borrowed a pen and some paper and did the exercises. I almost felt like I was personally working with Dr.Herman! When I took the book home, my wife was surprised and astonished. She was thrilled that I was doing something productive to overcome my depression." Name withheld "Secrets" helped me realize that I've
been settling for mediocrity "Secrets' helps man recover from grief & abandonment
"My wife recently died and Secrets from the Sofa is a big source of comfort to me. I now realize that I must move on. This is the healthy thing to do. This is what my wife would have wanted me to do. My daughter is currently reading the book too. Thank you, Dr. Herman, for writing such a sensitive book." Name withheld
Overcoming trauma of sexual abuse
"I am 27 years old and have to live with the memory of being sexually involved with my
father. I don't have to explain what has gone on in my head since I was fourteen years old.
Questions like, "Where was my mother?" keep me obsessed. A friend gave me a copy of your book,
and I read it completely. I especially benefited from the chapter entitled, "When to Seek
Professional Help." Intellectually, I have always known I needed to see a therapist but emotionally,
I was not ready. Your book gave me the courage to call for an appointment. Unfortunately, I think of
myself as a bad person. I think no one will want me. I have a terrible resentment of men.
You say that there is a chance for people to re-group, no matter how bad matters seem. I am going to give
it my best shot. I know my anxieties will not go away overnight, but I am optimistic about getting
help. Thank you, Dr. Herman." Name withheld
No more blaming others!
"My psychiatrist diagnosed me with a character disorder, because I blame the
world for my problems. He gave me Secrets from the Sofa and said, "See what
you can learn!" Well, I read the book and learned plenty! I learned about personal
responsibility-- that other people and situations don't cause my problems. What Dr.
Herman wrote in this book made a lot of sense. For the first time in my life, I started
thinking about my strengths. I am a good provider. I am a good father. I am a good
friend. (The root of) my problem is a bad habit of blaming everybody but myself when things go
wrong. Since reading the book, I look to myself to make things better and I can usually find a
solution. It is strange, but I'm not getting depressed as much since reading Secrets from
the Sofa. Thanks, Dr. Herman!" Name withheld
Increased awareness & power to change "I'm 40 years old, yet still live with my mother. She makes me feel guilty whenever I talk about moving on my own. My doctor told me about your book, and I was particularly interested in the section on guilt. Dr. Herman says that nobody can make you feel guilty, unless you allow it. This got me thinking big time! Reading Secrets from the Sofa made me realize that I'm very dependent on my mother. I'm not sure what I can achieve on my own because I have never afforded myself the opportunity to do so. My friends tell me to get out and grow up! Somehow, I know that is the healthy thing to do. Having read your Secrets from the Sofa, I realize that I need to grow up. "Secrets from the Sofa" is an eye opener and now I'm taking action." Name withheld Overcoming critical & fault-finding thoughts "I am 37 years old and bought Secrets from the Sofa because I was Dr. Herman's patient as a teenager. I remember giving him a hard time. I grew up with neurotic parents who were always critical. It is hard to understand the negative effect of all that parental conflict. It is hard to grow up confident when your parents always find fault in you. Fortunately, I married a great lady and she helped me a lot. My wife encouraged me to read Secrets from the Sofa. In fact, she read it too and we talked about it together. Good job, Doc Herman! Now, I feel like I've had a few years of therapy. I got a lot of answers reading the book. Incidentally, great title!" Name withheld Light bulb & eureka moments "Reading Secrets from the Sofa was a great deal of help to me. The first part of the book talks about how what your parents say and do when you are a child can affect your adult life. It was like a light bulb went on when I read it. I suddenly realized what a good a job my parents did. It made me appreciate my childhood. I immediately sent an email to my brothers and sister telling them about the book and how my parents didn’t do any of the “bad” things.
I especially liked the section called “There’s No Time like the Present.” It’s about doing something that’s important to you NOW and not waiting. My parents took a cruise late in their life. At the time, my father had mild dementia. He hated the cruise, and my mother didn’t enjoy it because of my father. She told me afterwards “We should have done it 10 years ago.” Reading this section reinforced how important it is to not postpone things.
I’m a worrier. There is another great section which
suggests, "Sometimes Mountains are Actually Just Mole Hills.” Dr. Herman
said when you're worrying, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? And how realistic is that
fear?” I can’t tell you how often I repeat that phrase to myself
now. It helps a lot! Secrets from the Sofa is a
terrific book that has helped me immensely." Lisa Cross. "My company gave "Secrets from the Sofa" to their employees when Dr. Herman came to speak. I'm not a reader but when my wife read it, she urged me to take a look. It makes sense. I knew parents shape a kids personality but did not know that you have to be careful what and how you say things to them. I am going to spread the word on the job and tell my friends to look at the book. I think my boss knew what he was doing when he arranged to distribute the book." Name withheld
Not sure if it's an accident or fate!
"I happened to read Secrets by accident... or was it fate? I was looking for a
self-help book to help me relax. This lady at the bookstore pointed out the book and said it was
based the book on professional experience. So, I took a shot and was surprised because I found a lot
of good ideas that I am trying to put into practice. I liked reading about how other people deal with
problems. The doctor says it is normal to have problems you just have to learn how to deal with them."
Bob
I learned plenty from this book!
"My college guidance counselor gave me a copy of "Secrets from the Sofa" because I choke up
when taking tests. He asked what I was afraid of, and I couldn't tell him. I started to read
the section on fears and the author said most people are scared either of failure or rejection.
Reading that started me thinking. I don't have confidence that I'm going to succeed. I worry
so much about it that my thinking and performance suffers. I decided to start at the begininning of
the book and see what I could learn. Well, I learned plenty! I have to be patient for real
change to take place. At least now I have things to work on." Julia
Problems fester if you don't deal with them
"I first saw "Secrets from the Sofa" in my dentist's waiting room. I thought it was a
strange book to be in a dentist's office but the dentist told me that Dr. Herman was his patient!
Anyway, the book interested me so much that I bought a copy. I was having problems with a co-worker and it
was bothering me considerably. Reading the book gave me the guts to approach the man and tell him
what was bothering me. Believe it or not he apologized and is not bugging me anymore. The big
thing I learned from reading the book is that problems fester in your mind if you don't deal with
them. Talking to myself about the situation and dwelling on it was getting me nowhere."
Mike
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